Best Single Piece of Advice for New Moms!

I'm sure your experience has been no different from mine.  People giving unwanted advice.  It started in pregnancy and honestly, it hasn't stopped yet.  And I will say it: I am a damn good mom! So it isn't like I am royally screwing up and I need to be saved - folks are just well-meaning and can't seem to help themselves.

In addition, so much of the advice I got was around how not to spoil my child or around sleep routines.  "If you hold her too much she won't sleep well" people said. "If you rock her or nurse her before a nap she will always need to be rocked or nursed to nap."

But every once in a while someone would share an absolute gem of advice.  And this is one that I wish I had followed earlier: HOLD YOUR BABY!

No I am not kidding.  It is a simple concept but let me explain more:

One of the biggest shocks to me as a new mom was how MY schedule for doing things switched to HER schedule for doing things.  Every time my daughter fell asleep I would immediately put her in her pack and play and RUN to try and get something done.  Dishes, laundry, vacuuming etc. I was in a frenzy because I never knew how long those naps would last! 

But you CANNOT spoil an infant.  It just isn't possible. Ask your Doctor.  

One day I had a couple of friends visiting.  When it was her nap time I laid her down in the pack n play and continued the visit.  I was proud of the fact that she went to sleep on her own and stayed asleep during the visit as we chatted and laughed. I was thinking to myself :"Ta- da!  Look at how well my baby sleeps!  I am doing this parenting thing pretty well right?!!"  But my friend asked me a question that went against all the advice I had heard.  "Why don't you hold your baby?" 

Swaddled and napping in her Pack N Play at 10 days old

My initial reaction was confusion.  Her nap time is MY time to get things done. Or to drink a hot beverage.  Or to swear if I need to.  I hold her all the time when we laugh, and play or nurse.  What do you mean why don't I hold her?  

My friend was right.  

The next day it was rainy out.  I grabbed a stack of books, snacks, water, blankets, my phone and the remote and we made a little mommy and baby snuggle station in the living room.  Everything I needed was in reach.  And we snuggled in the recliner ALL DAY.  I literally held her ALL DAY.  When she was awake I read to her. When she slept I got to enjoy reading or watching TV or Pinteresting.  We snuggled and stared at each other and it was just wonderful.

Snuggled up reading "A fine Romance" by Susan Branch

Two years have passed and that that day sticks out in my memory as one of the very best day during my maternity leave.  I wish I had done this more.  It is so true that times goes by in the blink of an eye. 

Yes the laundry still needs to be done.  Food needs to be cooked. The dog needs a bath and we all know the house won't clean itself.  But after that rainy day I made a point to allow myself to rock her to sleep once in a while.  I would hold her while she slept and enjoy the new baby smell of her hair and the little grip of her fingers. We should not feel guilty for taking advantage of nap time to get things done.  But we also shouldn't feel guilty when we hold our babies either. I wasn't spoiling her by holding her. I was recharging my soul.  

Nine SIMPLE Tips to Help Keep You Sane During Pregnancy!

Don't get me wrong, I LOVED being pregnant.  But it wasn't all unicorns and rainbows.  Here are nine simple tips that made my pregnancy experience easier!

1. Pinterest.com - Information is KEY to staying sane during pregnancy.  Pinterest may claim to be a social networking site, but for me it was my own pregnancy search engine!  Any question you have about pregnancy, from deciding if you need a flu shot, to how to tell if your baby is really kicking, can be answered here.  Do a search, check out some pins and read some blogs. I also created my own boards filled with ideas for decorating the nursery, parenting tips and more.  As a side note, I love blogs but I found message boards to be very negative.  I am sure that are many that are not, but early on in my pregnancy I decided to avoid them after reading many rude, ignorant and misinformed comments.  If you know of a positive message board related to pregnancy please share. It was the many blogs I read that made me decide to create my own blog. 
2. Pregnancy pillow - Someone told me once that being pregnant is as exhausting for your body as climbing up and down a mountain every day.  I don't know if that is true or how big of a mountain we are talking about, but one thing is certain, being pregnant is exhausting AND sleep is essential.  Pregnancy pillows are designed to provide support for aching legs, back and bellies.  There are many different brands and styles.  I recommend finding one that allows for a variety of positions because your body changes and wants different things during different trimesters.  I used mine to combat back pain and sometimes used it propped up behind me so that I wouldn't sleep on my back (a pregnancy no-no). I also suggest that you get one with a removable cover.  This is the one I used: preggle.  Get as much sleep as you can and don't feel bad when you go to bed at 7:00.  
3. Water cup - The average human body is 50 - 65% water.  It just goes to show that if you are growing an extra person, you are going to need to stay hydrated.  Many books and blogs link dehydration during pregnancy to morning sickness and headaches.  I don't know if there is any truth to that...but I made a point to stay hydrated.  The easiest way I found to do this was to have designated water cups to help me keep track of my water consumption. I had one that held two cups of water and one that held four.  By keeping track of how often I filled them during the day I made sure to consume at least 8 to 10 cups of water per day.  
4. Pregnancy Apps - "This week your baby is the size of an onion!" There are lots of free pregnancy apps out there.  I used two of them regularly and found them to be fun and helpful.  I downloaded many but ended up sticking with two of them.  Babycenter (recommended by my OBGYN for providing credible information) and BabyBump Pregnancy Free. They were both free on my phone and kindle and gave weekly and daily updates.  
5. Prenatal appointments - This may seem obvious but you would be surprised at how many people skip prenatal appointments. Pregnancy impacts every part of your body, from the hair on our legs, to the obvious belly bump so you are going to have questions and concerns. Find a medical professional that you trust and be sure to go to your appointments.  Being pregnant for the first time, and also being over 35, I was really worried that something might go wrong with the pregnancy.  It was SO helpful to hear positive feedback with every visit that things were progressing well and to get all my questions answered.  There is nothing like hearing that little heartbeat! Many doctors will even let you record the sound on your phone. 
6. Crackers: I was one of the fortunate ones who didn't have too much morning sickness during pregnancy.  In my first trimester I had a periods of nausea at all times of the day, but only became physically ill once.  I learned that keeping water and crackers handy helped battle the nausea and often I would feel better within a few minutes.  In my third trimester, the nausea came back again anytime I went more than 2 hours without eating.  I started carrying little bags of soup crackers around in my purse and my car so that I wouldn't be caught without them.  For you it might be crackers, or an apple or whatever.  Just find something that works and don't leave home without it.
7. Bathroom breaks: It is true what they say about pregnancy - eventually your bladder will turn against you.  The trick here is to go to the bathroom before you do anything: before going to bed, before going shopping, before you sit down to eat dinner.  Anytime a bathroom might not be handy (or sanitary) try to be proactive and go ahead of time.  You will still have times when you need to make a run for it, but if you make this a practice from the get-go you can avoid doing the pee-pee dance in front of your boss at the next staff meeting. 
8. Yoga: The average woman gains 20-30 pounds during pregnancy. My sister gained over 60 pounds when she got pregnant with her second child.  I was terrified that this could happen to me so I wanted to be active but I didn't exactly start out if the best shape.  Yoga worked for me because it was something I could without much fuss and it was safe for all three trimesters.  On nights when I was too tired to do the whole session I could at least sit down and do a few poses before bed and it made such a difference in how I felt. I rotated different workouts but the one I like the best was Prenatal Yoga You can stream it for free if you have Amazon Prime.
9. Journal: At thirty-five, I had almost given up on being pregnant.  Once it finally happened, I felt the need to document the experience, knowing it might never happen again.  I bought The Ultimate Pregnancy Journal as a way to savor my experiences.  It was a fun way to record memories and on those really challenging days I could look back and see how far I had progressed. 

Okay, so those were my 9 simple tips.  I would really like to hear your thoughts.  What helped to keep you sane while you were pregnant?